


#32 It's called love at first, and doesn't hurt

by midnightflame



Category: Naruto
Genre: All the things we want to say, Brothers, Gen, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 17:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1518587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightflame/pseuds/midnightflame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are things you will do that will leave a smile on your lips as you die. That moment, as he stood before me, was the culmination of one such thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	#32 It's called love at first, and doesn't hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Quick little snippets - that is all.

There are things you will do that will leave a smile on your lips as you die. That moment, as he stood before me, was the culmination of one such thing.

* * *

It’s easy to speak of love. So many believe it is more a right than a gift, but those who know better, understand that it is something that comes as it will. You cannot command it to form. No amount of gold will coax it. No words can trick it. Rather, it sweeps into our souls, wanted or not.

No louder than a whisper sometimes. At others, it comes raging in like a storm, beating on the windows of our hearts with relentless force. We never really have any say.

The moment I first held him, however, I knew. And it came as no great shock, but rather, a quiet, devoted acceptance.  There is nothing I would not do for him. There is no one I would not fight for him. This world and all its hells could threaten, and still I would stand there for him. This tiny thing swaddled in my arms. . .

“Sasuke. . .”

And I could not help but smile for him. Innocent and open, everything I would find myself wishing for him in this world of ours. 

* * *

It was there in the way he calls me _brother_. This unforsaken hope that made me think there could be something better in this world. That there should be something better. And I wanted to believe this village could offer him that.

Freedom.

So, when I took up the mantle of ANBU, I didn’t think twice about the implications. Because there was darkness and devastation that littered this path, but when I emerged and he was there, regret had no place to harbor. His hands still reached for mine. His words still sought to pull me into all that he was, all that he could be. And everything I was becoming retreated to the shadows, momentarily forgotten in wake of a small smile, an even smaller request.

_Another time, Sasuke. . ._

You wouldn’t think such a thing could sting my heart, but it does. Every time I uttered those words to you, I am reminded of the ties that bind, yours and mine, and there were things I still had to do to give you everything that I wished to.

 

* * *

If talent was the beginning, I would also make it the end. Everything I had achieved, I did to shelter you. Perhaps that was where I went wrong.

But that can no longer be helped. It was what I had thought, and every scrap of raw ability I had I tuned to a fine point, aimed straight for the Uchiha heart.

So much had failed, Sasuke.

I wish I had had another answer then, but with the cards spread before me, I made my choice. Because there were things I still wanted for you, things I still believed I could achieve, and I was so steeped in the blackness of it all, that I simply forgot. Or maybe it was that I couldn’t bring myself to pull you down to that place.

When I stood there that night with you, I did so with honest faith. In you. What I had lost meant nothing, because there was you. Bargains made with devils and embellishments cast over talent, if it would buy you something better, I would have made them a thousand times over.

I went blind long before you ever knew it was a potential.

 

* * *

I held you off for as long as I could. But with every meeting, I was proud of you. Of all that you had managed to achieve. Of the steps you had taken to strengthen yourself to survive in this world I could not seem to correct.

Konoha was that small swatch of something I could still give you, that I wanted to give you.

I don’t regret wanting to turn you back to that place, because there was more there for you than you could see at that time. Though, you surprised me with the steps you took to fulfill that promise I burdened you with. I won’t call it disappointment.

Perhaps it was in our blood to falter over a bit of folly.

 

* * *

 I had hope, that last day. When you stood before me, struggling, defiant - I had hope. That with this we would end it, all the darkness that had soiled our name and you would finally have the end I so dearly wanted for you.

 That for the first time in years, you would breathe and know relief. That you would know what a future unburdened would look like, with everything cast before you unfettered. Because you had grown into a fine ninja.

 Yet as much as you might have denied it, I could still see the boy there beneath it all. It flashed before me in those last moments (you were never very good at hiding your feelings, you know), and maybe that’s why I couldn’t stop myself.

 . . . _this is the last time, Sasuke._ . .

There are the men we try to be, and the men we really are. Until the last breath - I had almost made it, but you. . .you were there, and I remembered. And there was nothing more for me to give you.

 

* * *

Death has a certain clarity to it, though I won’t say I ever foresaw the chance to see you again. After all, you and I both know of the finality imposed upon one marked by their last breaths, but. . .

It was a welcomed reunion for all I may have done.

And there were things I still had to impart, things I had cast aside as unnecessary in my own short-sighted logic. I do wonder now what you might have been able to achieve, hold myself at fault for smothering the chance.

My failings should never have been yours.

But even now, Sasuke. . .my dearest little brother, how I love you.


End file.
